25 Aug Every Day a Little Play: Building Connections and Character (And a Stronger Family!)
In the hustle and bustle of daily life, it’s easy for quality time with our children to take a backseat. Yet, one of the most powerful tenets of Active Parenting is “Every Day a Little Play!” This simple phrase encapsulates a profound truth: consistent, age-appropriate play and interaction with our children are fundamental to their development and our relationship with them.
“Every Day a Little Play” isn’t just about fun and games; it’s a cornerstone for fostering essential qualities like respect, responsibility, cooperation, courage, self-esteem, and faith. How exactly does play build these traits? When children learn to share toys and take turns, they practice cooperation and respect for others’ boundaries. Overcoming challenges in a game, even a simple one, builds their courage and problem-solving skills. Knowing that you, their parent, are dedicating special time just for them boosts their self-esteem and reinforces their sense of worth. And through consistent, loving interaction, children develop faith in your reliability and the security of your bond.
Beyond connection, play is vital for comprehensive development:
- Brain Development and Cognitive Skills: Play encourages children’s brain development by allowing them to use their senses, promoting exploration and curiosity. Children learn to think creatively through imagination and pretending, develop critical thinking skills by problem-solving, understand cause and effect, and build memory skills. You’ll see them practicing math and problem-solving, even in a pretend grocery store!
- Physical Development: When children use their muscles and coordination during play, they strengthen their physical development. Activities like running, jumping, skipping, climbing, and throwing and catching balls strengthen large muscles, balance, and coordination. Fine motor skills are developed through activities like grasping toys, using modeling clay, doing puzzles, cutting paper, and drawing. Play is healthy and helps children grow strong, counteracting issues like obesity. The development of foundational motor skills in childhood is essential for promoting an active lifestyle.
- Social and Emotional Skills: Many social and emotional skills are fostered through children’s play. They learn how to make friends, compromise, follow rules, handle their emotions when frustrated or upset, and build confidence, self-esteem, and resilience. Guided competition in rough-and-tumble play teaches children to win and lose graciously, take risks in a safe environment, and develop communication, negotiation, and emotional balance, fostering empathy.
- Language Development: Language development is highly encouraged during play as children talk about what they are doing, share thoughts and ideas, and build vocabulary by listening to others.
- Sensory Integration and Academic Success: Outdoor play, in particular, improves sensory integration skills. These activities engage children as active participants across motor, cognitive, social, and linguistic domains. It’s not surprising that countries with more recess often see greater academic success.
It’s crucial to remember that discipline, while important, doesn’t happen in a vacuum; it occurs within the overall context of your relationship with your child. When that relationship is strong, built on mutual respect and genuine caring, discipline becomes much easier, and our influence on our children’s decisions grows. Conversely, if the relationship is strained and children feel noticed only for misbehavior, they may act out of frustration and resentment. Think of it as filling an emotional tank; daily positive attention through play keeps that tank full, reducing the need for children to seek attention through misbehavior. Beyond reducing misbehavior, this positive connection can significantly reduce parental stress, as fewer conflicts lead to a more peaceful and enjoyable home environment for everyone.
To help create a strong bond and maintain a positive relationship with your children, make sure to build time into each day to have fun together. This can be as brief as ten minutes of horseplay on a busy day or a whole afternoon on a weekend. The key is choosing an activity that both you and your child enjoy, and it doesn’t have to be expensive.
Here are some age-specific ideas for incorporating “a little play” into your routine:
- Toddlers & Preschoolers: Engage in simple peek-a-boo, build block towers together, read picture books with silly voices, or have a “dance party” to their favorite songs.
- School-Aged Children: Play board games or card games, go for a bike ride, kick a ball around, start a simple craft project, or even turn chores into a game (e.g., “who can put away toys the fastest?”).
- Pre-Teens & Teens: Connect over shared interests like watching a movie together and discussing it, playing video games as a team, trying a new recipe in the kitchen, or engaging in a casual sport. Even a dedicated 10-minute conversation about their day, without distractions, can be a form of meaningful “play.”
Finding the time can be a challenge, but it’s manageable: Even if your schedule is packed, look for small pockets of time. Can you tell a silly story during breakfast? Play a quick “I Spy” game on the way to school? Or dedicate 15 minutes before bedtime for a favorite book or quick chat? Consistency, even in small doses, is more important than long, infrequent sessions.
You can even infuse playfulness into everyday responsibilities!
- Toy pickup challenge: See who can score the most baskets with sturdy toys or pick up the most toys while parents count to 20.
- Scavenger Hunt: Make a list of items that are out of place, and the child who picks up and puts away the most before time is up wins.
- Add fun music: Turn on some upbeat tunes while tackling chores.
- “I Spy” in the Grocery Store: See who can spot the grocery list item first.
- Cleaning Bingo: Create cards with age-appropriate cleaning tasks that kids can check off as they complete to get four in a row.
By making “Every Day a Little Play” a priority, you’re not only creating cherished memories but also actively participating in your child’s growth and well-being. It’s a daily investment in their emotional, social, and cognitive development, and a powerful way to reinforce the loving bond you share.
Resources for Parents and Parent Educators:
For more insights and resources on Active Parenting principles, visit our blog (ActiveParenting.com/blog). Additionally, Doc Pop’s 52 Weeks of Active Parenting is a cheerful book that makes a great resource for parents, which includes a video series you can access for FREE when you sign up for our eNews. Parents, consider exploring Active Parenting classes or online parenting classes for further support and to connect with other parents on this journey!
Sources, Further Reading, and Research on the Importance of Play:
Active Parenting Publishers founder and president Michael H. Popkin, Ph.D. has been providing research-based education programs with an emphasis on nonviolent discipline, mutual respect, and open communication for 40 years. He is widely known for his expertise in the field of parent education and has appeared on over 100 TV programs, including CNN and The Oprah Winfrey Show.
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