22 Apr Military Child Month: Celebrating Strength and Resilience

April is Military Child Month, a time dedicated to recognizing the unique sacrifices and strength of children in military families. These young heroes navigate frequent moves, parental deployments, and the constant adjustments that come with military life. Their resilience is truly remarkable, and it’s essential to acknowledge and support their well-being. 

Military children often experience: 

• Frequent transitions: Moving to new homes, schools, and communities. 

• Parental deployments: Coping with the absence of a parent for extended periods.  

• Emotional adjustments: Managing stress, anxiety, and changes in family dynamics. 

• Building resilience: Developing adaptability and coping mechanisms at a young age. 

This month let’s take a moment to appreciate their courage and offer them the support they deserve. 

Fostering Resilience

Resilience is a crucial ability to manage stress in today’s chaotic world. Here are some tips for parents to help foster resilience in their children: 

• Teach children to be adaptable. Life is filled with surprises and unforeseen changes, and the ability to adjust and shift gears when needed often determines success.  

• Model healthy coping mechanisms for children. Maintain a positive mindset, even in the face of adversity, and emphasize the importance of seeking solutions rather than dwelling on the problem.  

• Teach children that instant gratification is not always feasible, and that patience can often yield more satisfying results.    

• Demonstrate the benefits of stress-reducing techniques, such as mindfulness or yoga, and encourage them to participate in physical activities.  

• Encourage open conversations about feelings, and reassure them that it’s okay to feel upset, angry, or overwhelmed, and guide them on how to express these emotions in a healthy, non-destructive manner.  

• When celebrating wins, encourage children to appreciate their efforts and hard work that led to success, rather than focusing solely on the outcome.    

• In moments of loss or failure, help children see these experiences as opportunities for learning and growth. Guide them to identify what they can do differently next time and encourage them to try again.  

• Underscore the importance of sportsmanship, regardless of the outcome. Teach children to congratulate others on their success and show empathy in their failures. 

Moving 

Frequent moves are an inherent part of military life, and often challenging for children who have established friendships or those who haven’t yet had the chance to do so. Allow children the space to have their feelings about an impending move and make sure they know their feelings are valid. While parents can’t erase the sadness of leaving, they can help ease the transition by encouraging kids to stay in touch with old friends, understanding that this contact may naturally taper off. Foster a positive outlook by highlighting the exciting possibilities of making new friends and exploring new places, while also cherishing memories and friends. Help children discover activities and sports they enjoy, providing natural opportunities to connect with other children who share those interests.  

Preparing for Deployment 

Children (and adults) feel more secure when they know what to expect. Parents should decide what details to share with children. It’s important to explain what will be happening in age-appropriate language in a positive manner. Military OneSource advises parents to spend one-on-one time with each child before they deploy and to plan how they’ll keep in touch. You can find more ideas from Military OneSource in “Supporting Your Children Through the Deployment Cycle.” After explaining what is happening, create space for children to ask questions and express their feelings. Validate their emotions even though this can be difficult because parents don’t want their kids to feel sad but it’s important for children to feel heard and validated. Reassure children that they are loved and supported. Discuss any changes to the family routines allowing the children to have a say—they may not get their way, but they should always have a say. 

Deployment 

During deployment, maintain regular contact through calls, emails, and letters, ensuring the family knows when to expect communication or when they cannot be in contact. Parents at home with the children should try to stick to the household rules and regular routine as much as possible to keep that consistency that helps children feel safe. Centerstone, a non-profit recommends creating a deployment wall where you can put a map showing the family’s locations with two clocks set to the different time zones. Think of a way your family can countdown the days until the family is together again—there are lots of ideas online.  

Every Day a Little Play! 

Children not only learn through play but develop lasting bonds with their parents. One Active Parenting tenet, “Every Day a Little Play,” can be challenging for busy parents—even more so when a parent is deployed. However, even small, creative efforts can make a significant difference. iConsider sending a beloved toy or two with the deployed parent, allowing for shared play during video calls. A deployed parent can also send photos of the toy in various locations, helping children feel involved in their journey. Bedtime stories offer another precious opportunity for connection; if live calls aren’t feasible, recording a favorite story allows the deployed parent to be a comforting presence at the end of the day. Remember, even fifteen minutes of focused interaction can reinforce bonds and bring joy during periods of separation. Parents still must balance playtime with the to-do list, so here are some tips to make chores fun: 

• Toy pickup challenge – who can score the most baskets (sturdy toys only) or see who can pick up the most toys while parents count to 20. 

• Scavenger Hunt – make a list of items that are out of place and the child who gets the most picked up and put in the right place before the time is up, is the winner. Add fun music. 

• I spy in the Grocery Store – who can spot the grocery list item first. 

• Cleaning Bingo – create cards with age-appropriate cleaning tasks that the kids can check off as they complete to get 4 in a row. 

By infusing playfulness into both dedicated playtime and everyday responsibilities, military families can navigate deployments with connection and a sense of fun.  

Home Again 

Once the deployed parent returns home try not to make big changes or go on trips for a while so the family can adjust to the transition. Gradually incorporate the returning parent back into routines so everyone has time to adjust. Active Listening is always a valuable skill but particularly during this time because there will be a lot of feelings to process. Be understanding and patient—it may take time to find the family rhythm again. 

How Others Can Show Support: 

• Acknowledge their sacrifices: Simply recognizing their unique experiences can make a significant difference. 

• Offer practical support: Help with tasks like childcare, errands, or moving assistance. 

• Create a supportive community: Encourage schools and community organizations to provide resources and activities for military children. 

• Educate yourself: Learn more about the challenges military families face and how to be an ally. 

• Volunteer: Many organizations are looking for volunteers to support military families. 

Check the resources below for more tips on coping with fear or anxiety, moving, and funding for college. Military children are a vital part of our community, and their strength and resilience deserve our utmost respect and support. Let’s make this Military Child Month a time of celebration and appreciation.

Resources to Support Military Children and Families: 

• Active Parenting: Empowering Families Through Education
  

  Active Parenting offers a wealth of resources aimed at strengthening families, including those in the military. Our “Military Family Appreciation and Resources” page provides valuable insights and tools for parents navigating the unique challenges of military life. You can find helpful information on topics like:

• • Communication strategies
  • The importance of bonding
  • Exercise and healthy food choices
  • Taking care of the caregiver
  • Getting help

• Military Child Education Coalition (MCEC): Wellbeing Toolkit
  

  The MCEC’s “Wellbeing Toolkit” is an essential resource for supporting the emotional and mental health of military children.This toolkit provides practical strategies and tools for addressing common challenges, such as:

  • Managing stress and anxiety.
  • Building social connections.
  • Promoting emotional well-being.
  • It is vital to provide children with the proper tools to deal with the unique challenges they face.

• Children Coping with Deployment – PTSD: National Center for PTSD by the US Department of Veteran Affairs talks about anxiety and fear children face when their parents are deployed and ways they can cope.
• Making the Move Easier for Military-Connected Children from Military OneSource
  Military OneSource helps military families move with tips for making the move easier on children and valuable resources like:
  • Sesame Street and Military OneSource can help young children navigate the challenges of Military life.
  • Support for kids and teens through your installation youth center.
  • Select a school with a local school liaison and the Changing Schools MilLife Guide.
  • Find special education support with help from your local school liaison and the Exceptional Family Member Program.
  • Counseling resources.

• Help with Funding College for your Kids

  • College Funding Designed for Military Children from the Office of Financial Readiness
  • Higher Education for Your Children from Military OneSource
  • Savings Plans, Student Loans and Scholarships for Military Teens from Military OneSource

Active Parenting Publishers has been providing research-based education programs with an emphasis on nonviolent discipline, mutual respect, and open communication for over 40 years.

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